Suffering

Suffering... sometimes doesn't it seem like it is our anthem... the banner song of our lives. Sigh, sometimes doesn't it seem like we get together and just like to compare notes. (Did you know I was raised by a single teen mom, had to wear hand me downs, sometimes didn't have real food to eat - oh there was food... sometimes it was just white rice butter and salt though, and I was teased horrible through elementary... oh and then there was high school... and then there was the struggles that we have endured with Kellen.... ) Yeah, I am pretty proficent at singing this song when I want to be all whiny and totally human.

I know that it is silly to dwell, but some days (you know those days... the ones where you wake up and your head is hurting and you discover you are already an hour behind schedule, breakfast is burned, you've spilled coffee on yourself... and you haven't even got out the door), that is what happens. But today I kept thinking about some of my friends.... who don't know God, who don't have Jesus as their Saviour, who have no Holy Spirit to guide them... who are just living this life. Empty.

I see them struggling... life is difficult, they hit trials and tribulations... they are still moving forward, but I can see things falling apart. I feel heart broken for them... and just want to shove Jesus at them and say "Him, He is the reason why no matter what happens, I know that I will be able to get up and keep standing. Him... my God, my Saviour, He is the only reason that I can continue... so darn it just accept Him!"

Sigh, but I don't think it will work. All day today I have been listening (over and over and over again) to Natalie Grant... Held. And I have felt blown away at how whole honest and truthful it is...

the words are

"Two months is too little

They let him go

They had no sudden healing

To think that providence would take a child from his mother while she prays

Is appalling



Who told us we'd be rescued?

What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?

We're asking why this happens to us who have died to live?

It's unfair



This is what it means to be held

How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

And you survive

That is what it is to be loved

And to know that the promise was when everything fell we'd be held.



This hand is bitterness

We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow.

The wise hand opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.



This is what it means to be held

How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

And you survive

That is what it is to be loved

And to know that the promise was when everything fell we'd be held.



If hope is born of suffering

If this is only the beginning

Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?



This is what it means to be held

How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

And you survive

That is what it is to be loved

Ant to know that the promise was when everything fell we'd be held.









I don't think I can fully express how thankful I am that God has always held me, while everything has fallen around me... I am forever and always in His arms!